Unapologetically Us The Podcast

EP 41 - Toilet Seat Mysteries

Season 1 Episode 41

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0:00 | 44:27

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David and Jenn are back with another completely unhinged episode of Unapologetically Us The Podcast covering everything from disappearing pennies and cashless society frustrations to Costco self-checkout meltdowns, rogue body hair, toilet seat mysteries, and why The Block might actually be one of the coolest new concepts.

The conversation spirals into whether companies are secretly profiting from rounding cash transactions, why David refuses to let stores check receipts, and the science behind how toilet seats somehow end up dirty in impossible places. They also debate smart thermostats, online ordering fees, weird hairs that randomly appear overnight, and the realities of getting older while still trying to keep life together.

Plus, David and Jenn break down their experience at The Block, a new shipping-container food hall and entertainment venue featuring live music, bars, restaurants, outdoor seating, and a unique open-air concept.

If you love chaotic friendship energy, random debates, relatable millennial life struggles, pop culture-style conversations, and hilarious real-life observations, this episode is for you.

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SPEAKER_01

For that rant. Um, okay, so I have a really serious question. Do tell. And it's kind of shitty. Hey everybody, and welcome back to another episode of Unapologetically Us, the podcast. I'm David. Fucking president. Jed.

SPEAKER_00

I'm losing it. Why? Just because of we can never get it right. We can't. I think out of the 41 episodes, this is 41, right?

SPEAKER_01

I think, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

We may have marked one opening, maybe two, without bullshit.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. I think so.

SPEAKER_00

Uh but that's our friendship. So I did a little bit of research. Um only because I know you don't pay with cash a lot.

SPEAKER_01

Hardly ever.

SPEAKER_00

Hardly ever. Right. You tip people in cash.

SPEAKER_01

Just two places.

SPEAKER_00

Right. I don't. I'm like, charge it to the card.

SPEAKER_01

Well, some places won't charge it to the card.

SPEAKER_00

Correct. Or they'll be like, oh, do you have cash? No, I don't. Yeah. This is my form of payment. Deal with it. Um, okay, so anyway, so I at work, when I get my reimbursements on certain things, I will either receive a check from our accounts receivable department, or if it's something that isn't in our realm of stuff or whatever, or I went and bought tape or staples or whatever, I'll take it to our office manager and she hands us cash from Petty Cash. So that just goes in my wallet and I just walk around with a little bit of cash. So anyway, um, I had gone to I can't wait to figure out what you had to research. Exactly. Well, yeah. So this is very exciting. Yes. Okay. You're gonna probably shit your pants when you find out once I get done with this. Okay, so um I went to a store and now that we are no longer making pennies, oh yeah. It's a round up or round down situation, okay?

SPEAKER_01

I've only seen one place advertise that.

SPEAKER_00

There's no need to advertise it.

SPEAKER_01

Zach Spee's by my house and has a sign in the window.

SPEAKER_00

Whatever. But okay with that. So I went to the place, it was like 583 or whatever.

SPEAKER_02

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

And so I got 15 cents back. I gave him six bucks. I got 15 cents back rather than 17 cents because they didn't do the penny thing anymore. Um, so I wanted to see with this whole penny situation, how much a company is banking in in this. Okay. So what I did was I looked up McDonald's.

SPEAKER_02

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

And I just pulled the price of a Big Mac, the lowest price across this is $579. Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

Their thing is if it's zero to two, they round up. No. They round down so you get more back. Anyway, you can look it all up. But I just I I wanted to do it, so $579. Okay. So technically, you're gonna be charged $580, no tax, okay? $580.

SPEAKER_02

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

So that's one penny that you lost, okay? Guess how many Big Macs they sell in a day in the US?

SPEAKER_01

Well, yeah, and that's across everything.

SPEAKER_00

In the US, not globally.

SPEAKER_01

Right. I still feel like my number is probably I don't I don't know.

SPEAKER_00

I was shocked. I was shocked at this point.

SPEAKER_01

So my guess of how many is sold in the US?

SPEAKER_00

Just Big Mac sandwiches, nothing else.

SPEAKER_01

30,000.

SPEAKER_00

1.5 million.

SPEAKER_01

Oh. Wow, I thought.

SPEAKER_00

You're thinking just Jacksonville, probably, or Florida.

SPEAKER_01

Right.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, so 1.5 million sandwiches are sold a day. One penny is not being given back to the customers. That is $15,000 a day.

SPEAKER_01

A day.

SPEAKER_00

Times $365.

SPEAKER_01

So when are these places going to adjust all of their pricing?

SPEAKER_00

You would think, but then you gotta think of the taxing and stuff. I'm just looking at the price.

SPEAKER_01

What they need to do is they need to get a price after tax and work it backwards so it ends on a five.

SPEAKER_00

Why would they do this when they're are you ready to find out what they would make off of one penny every day? 1.5 million of these sandwiches sold just on this one item.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Five million four hundred and seventy-five thousand dollars off of one skew, one penny, one year.

SPEAKER_01

That's free kid.

SPEAKER_00

Why would they do that? Why would they adjust their pricing when they're making this as extra money?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I mean So it also My parents are cash is king.

SPEAKER_01

It does not bother me a bit because I knew it. I I order in the app everywhere I go and just go pick it up.

SPEAKER_00

Right. But here's what I'm saying. A lot of people, especially in times like this with the economy and stuff, cash is king. If something happens, sure, whatever, if your bank the internet or whatever goes down and you can't use it, you have no money because you don't have any cash.

SPEAKER_02

Right.

SPEAKER_00

You know what I mean? So now I want to be like, screw carrying cash and swipe my card everywhere. But in the situations like if something always I always have cash. Some sort of.

SPEAKER_01

I just do not use it.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

There is a minimum of $200 cash on me at all times except today. I have to you have $190 now. I no, I've spent it, so I need to go and re-up it. But I do carry cash all the time with me, just in case.

SPEAKER_00

So with my situation at work, like I'll always have to do it. So you always have some kind of cash. Something. I don't have like a a $200 limit or whatever or whatnot. Yeah. Like I have something. Um, you know, and there's times where I'll have left my debit card in my pants and and and they're in the in the uh hamper. So now I, you know, and I'm definitely not using my credit cards right now, so because I'm trying to pay them down, but I would have to move to the cash. Well, if I don't have cash, then I'm I'm screwed.

SPEAKER_01

But just thinking about this, I don't subscribe to that game.

SPEAKER_00

What do you mean?

SPEAKER_01

Like that's I that's why I pay debit card. I I I don't I won't.

SPEAKER_00

You don't know where you're gonna use your cash where this is going to happen.

SPEAKER_01

If it no.

SPEAKER_00

Are you gonna argue with them over a penny?

SPEAKER_01

Listen, I pay cash when like it's honestly it's it's even amounts. It's like it's not a cent kind of thing. Like, it no, it's it's usually a tip where it's flat cash.

SPEAKER_00

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

I'm not if I yeah, if I check it out.

SPEAKER_00

So you're what you're saying is you're not gonna hand $10 to the McDonald's person.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, 100%. Okay, but I will go, I'll go hungry before that happens. Yeah, I'm not subscribed to that, just like I'm not subscribed to the Walmart, I gotta check your receipt on the way out. No, bitch, I didn't sign up for that. Oh you do you blow by the people? I do. I act like they don't even exist. I mean, sometimes I'll say hi to the guy, but I'm not stopping for him to check a receipt. That's not my problem.

SPEAKER_00

Costco Sam's, that kind of place.

SPEAKER_01

You don't have an option, and they don't give you bags, they have to check it. But but I did yell at Sam at Costco the other day.

SPEAKER_00

Of course you didn't.

SPEAKER_01

Because so I had two separate orders.

SPEAKER_00

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

And at Costco, they have a self-checkout. For what reason? I do not fucking know.

SPEAKER_00

Really?

SPEAKER_01

Because yes, they have a self-checkout, but they don't let you self anything. They come over and they get their gun, they scan a little barcode to where it attaches that gun to that register, and then they start scanning your stuff for you. And I'm like, hold on. I've already told you I have two separate orders, and you're over here just and I'm like, so clear every fucking thing, and then hand me the gun or let me do it myself.

SPEAKER_00

It says self-checkout.

SPEAKER_01

Like, and oh, and uh look, and it was it was me and Carrie, and I was hot. Like I was pissed.

SPEAKER_00

And you know Carrie doesn't like confrontation.

SPEAKER_01

No, she doesn't, but she was right on board with me and she wasn't making any noise or anything like that. But the guy, um, they you know, they were trying to, I think they were selling their credit card or something, like on the way out the door. And I was like, no, I said, as soon as this fucking membership is over, I'm done. I said, y'all have self-checkout, but y'all cause these fucking delays and all these problems. Like, you're fucking ridiculous. I said, this is a piece of shit. So I'm just gonna go back to Sam's. Because I no, they made my trip like 10 minutes longer. Like, bitch, I had a whole plan.

SPEAKER_00

So what got canceled then?

SPEAKER_01

So what do you mean? Nothing got cancelled.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01

Um no no no, I said when it I'm not renewing. So I I definitely don't need your credit card.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. But what got canceled because 10 minutes was added on, you had a whole day planned.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, nothing.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, okay. You just showed up late to places perpetually at everyone.

SPEAKER_01

It was it wasn't scheduled things. We had we had an agenda and it was just slightly delayed and very annoying.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

And I was pissed. So shocker. So yeah, I don't subscribe to things that like, no. And that's one of them. Your your fucking pennies. You're not making millions off of my two cents or one cent or whatever it is. Not gonna happen. Not gonna happen.

SPEAKER_00

It made me think, like what I didn't get. Uh when she handed it to you, she's like, here, you know, 515 or fierce 15 cents or whatever, and I'm like.

SPEAKER_01

That's not right, math.

SPEAKER_00

So did I mean I And I just walked away and it made me think in the car, I'm like, okay, so my two cents. Pun intended. Um so my two cents plus the 2,000 other people.

SPEAKER_01

Right. I but okay, so what so they're not giving out change anymore?

SPEAKER_00

They're not giving out pennies.

SPEAKER_01

Right. So what did they do with their pennies? Did they cash them in?

SPEAKER_00

I don't know.

SPEAKER_01

Or something, or is there no pennies on Earth anymore?

SPEAKER_00

I don't think so.

SPEAKER_01

Are they melting them down? Are they gonna make a bronze statue? What are they doing?

SPEAKER_00

I'm gonna hold on to all mine.

SPEAKER_01

I mean, I don't even probably have but two in my whole house. But people are fucking ridiculous.

SPEAKER_00

Do you think pennies are worth not worthless, but do you think we should have stopped making pennies? You don't fucking care, you don't carry cash anyway.

SPEAKER_01

I don't, yeah. I mean, let me tell you, I was looking back whenever I before I owned my house, I was looking for an apartment. And one you could pay online and one you had to write a check. So guess where I moved?

SPEAKER_00

The one you can pay online.

SPEAKER_01

Pay online because I don't I don't.

SPEAKER_00

I don't yeah, when's the last time you wrote a check?

SPEAKER_01

I mean, I have business checks, so like for your personal use. Like Oh, I I haven't had checks in over 20 years.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I found a box of checks and I'm like, I have Do I need this anymore?

SPEAKER_01

I just found them, but it's for an account that hasn't existed since before I worked at the bank.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. It's like, do I need these anymore?

SPEAKER_01

Like Or maybe it was like an account that I opened when I first got there.

SPEAKER_00

Because you can always just go online to get your your routing and account number now.

SPEAKER_01

So Yeah, I don't need a check.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

I mean, I have needed one before and I'm like, well shit.

SPEAKER_00

But I'm not ordering them, so you can always go get one, like printed at the bank.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, and they charge you money for that.

SPEAKER_00

What? Oh yeah, there's no is it two cents?

SPEAKER_01

No, it's three dollars.

SPEAKER_00

What?

SPEAKER_01

Three dollars to for them to write the check for you or you to write it yourself, it doesn't matter. Three bucks.

SPEAKER_00

No, I just meant like a blank checks for your information. If they need it.

SPEAKER_01

Number one, they don't print one check. You gotta get multiple. And they're charging you. You're char there's no nothing is free. Nothing is free. The air I'm breathing is free. No, it's not. How do you fucking think air gets in this house?

SPEAKER_00

If you go outside.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, but you're not outside. You're inside. Paying for this air conditioning that you barely run in this house. So nothing is free. Nothing.

SPEAKER_00

Are you hot?

SPEAKER_01

I'm on the warm side.

SPEAKER_00

Why don't you just say something?

SPEAKER_01

Jen, am I alive? You know I'm on the warm side. Why do I have to fucking say anything? Jesus Christ.

SPEAKER_00

Hey, David's on the way over. I need you to jack down. Yeah. I actually, let me tell you something.

SPEAKER_01

Speaking of- Why don't you have a one that you can do that? Don't get me started on that.

SPEAKER_00

That's a sensitive subject.

SPEAKER_01

Why?

SPEAKER_00

We'll talk about it off camera.

SPEAKER_01

Oh.

SPEAKER_00

Um. I jacked it down at 68 last night to sleep.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, how'd you sleep?

SPEAKER_00

I froze my ass off. Normally it's at 72.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, but you shouldn't have gone to 68. And I know they that that's where they say.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, they say, do one diameter. My cut off. We're just gonna fucking do it.

SPEAKER_01

No, you probably should go to 70. And then I don't go any lower than 69 at night.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

That's the spot.

SPEAKER_00

And no, I regularly it wasn't it. And I got hot.

SPEAKER_01

Well, yeah, you're gonna get hot, but you should drag go to 70 tonight.

SPEAKER_00

Uh-huh. And here's the other thing is So mine is on a schedule.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

By the hour, like, that I set it for or whatever.

SPEAKER_01

Mine's on a schedule, too.

SPEAKER_00

I don't have an app where I could be like.

SPEAKER_01

Well, I would go purchase one.

SPEAKER_00

I I did and got vetoed on it. So we'll talk later. What do you mean we'll talk later?

SPEAKER_01

No, no, there's Okay, this is what I'm gonna say. This is what I'm gonna say. You live in a fucking house by yourself and you were vetoed by, I'm assuming, your father.

SPEAKER_00

Because it wasn't him.

SPEAKER_01

It was what was it?

SPEAKER_00

Don't f the AC man.

SPEAKER_01

Fuck the AC man.

SPEAKER_00

He said that um one, they blow the fuses a lot faster on the handler.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. Okay, sure.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Let me tell you, I've had it. I've had mine for close to 10 years, never had a fucking problem.

SPEAKER_00

How many problems have you had with your AC right now?

SPEAKER_01

Nothing related to that.

SPEAKER_00

You don't know if that is doing anything.

SPEAKER_01

It's not. It's not.

SPEAKER_00

Either way, I had one, I couldn't figure out how to also hook it up, so I took it back.

unknown

Jesus fucking Christ.

SPEAKER_00

I got it on the wall, had the app downloaded, it wouldn't Bluetooth together. I out and I got so fucking frustrated with it. So that one was user error. So when I was he was next door working on dad stuff or whatever, was like, can you come, you know, blah blah blah? And like he couldn't even get it, and he's like, This is what I'm gonna do.

SPEAKER_01

That's why. That's why. Because it's it's too complicated for him. Yeah, he it's got nothing to do with your fucking fuses. He just didn't want to deal with your ass.

SPEAKER_00

So what next time call you?

SPEAKER_01

You're gonna come out?

SPEAKER_00

Are you gonna rush over here?

SPEAKER_01

I didn't install mine, so yeah, exactly. Shut up. But I'll tell you who installed them. You can call them.

SPEAKER_00

No, we're not calling them either.

SPEAKER_01

Um, so.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, anyway.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. I have a so after that rant, um, okay, so I have a really serious question.

SPEAKER_00

Do tell.

SPEAKER_01

And it's kind of shitty.

SPEAKER_00

No, I don't want to do that.

SPEAKER_01

So I really, really, really God, I can't fucking figure it out. I need to understand. So you sit on the toilet, you have explosive diarrhea.

SPEAKER_00

Is this the shitty part?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. You you have you have explosive diarrhea.

SPEAKER_00

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

No, the seat's down because you're sitting on it.

SPEAKER_00

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_01

How the fuck does shit get underneath the fucking seat, but it doesn't get on you?

SPEAKER_00

It does get on you.

SPEAKER_01

It g it gets right here? No, it does not. I've never had shit on me.

SPEAKER_00

Are you sure you didn't like wipe it just in case?

SPEAKER_01

My legs?

SPEAKER_00

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

My legs. No.

SPEAKER_00

I'm not trying to be. Are you are you like this or are you open? What fucking difference does it make? Just hear me out, please. Are you like legs together shitting or I'm probably sitting like this? So a little open.

SPEAKER_01

Maybe.

SPEAKER_00

So maybe the inner innard of your legs aren't really there. Like in the open bowl.

SPEAKER_01

Jen. There I've seen toilets whenever I've lifted a seat and it's got shit all under. Like, how does it get there?

SPEAKER_00

Are you talking about when you used my bathroom and I was cleaning deck?

SPEAKER_01

I've seen it at my it's happened at my house, it's happened everywhere. I'm not trying to call anybody out for being anything.

SPEAKER_00

So maybe let me understand.

SPEAKER_01

The gap is this big and shit is up there. Like, how does it happen? How does it get there? Jen, my asshole is pointed at the water. How does it go? But I'm sitting on my asshole is in the center. I'm sitting on here.

SPEAKER_00

No, you put a camera back there? It's not on the center. It's in the back. The closest, it's actually.

SPEAKER_01

Jen, if I was gonna shit under that seat, I would have to be up like this. And yes, I just did that. And it's I don't get it. Okay, there's a hole. But Jen, the gap is this big. How does it get under there?

SPEAKER_00

Maybe it's coming back up from the water.

SPEAKER_01

But again, it does not get on my legs that are not covered. But it's all around the whole fucking lid.

SPEAKER_00

Are you sure that when you go to wipe, you're not wiping everything else with your wipe my asshole?

SPEAKER_01

I don't wipe my legs.

SPEAKER_00

I'm just saying I have to wipe my legs because my No, not because of shitting!

unknown

No.

SPEAKER_00

Your face is great. Because I have a powerful urine stream. And it's so you repeat on yourself? It comes back on from the porcelain.

SPEAKER_01

Well, I don't know about that.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, but I still can wipe a little and clean up and use uh not down here, you okay, but again, spreading and showing my hoop on everybody.

SPEAKER_01

I just I don't I just I don't I just don't get it.

SPEAKER_00

Maybe you should install a little toilet seat camera. Like a little micro camera. I don't know. I really see how we're getting a little okay. That's a little much.

SPEAKER_01

But again, I mean I feel like this is this right here is wider than the seat opening. Yet a massive amount of shit gets under there.

SPEAKER_00

It's not a massive amount, but I do understand.

SPEAKER_01

How the fuck does shit get under there? But I don't care if it's a lot of people.

SPEAKER_00

But for like the girls, we get a lot of pee on the underside just because of But how the fuck does that happen?

SPEAKER_01

I mean, so point is it you mainly see shit because that's I guess noticeable and not pee, right? So maybe it happened like, yeah, but how does it happen? I just don't understand. I don't think you're gonna be able to make me understand it. I just think it's weird as fuck.

SPEAKER_00

It is weird.

SPEAKER_01

That's all.

SPEAKER_00

I mean, I I don't disagree.

SPEAKER_01

I I does it. Because there are some times where you're where you I mean, does anybody under know how fucking shit happens? Like, I promise you I don't stand up and shit or anything like that. I mean, I just my mind is blown.

SPEAKER_00

I'm telling you.

SPEAKER_01

I mean, if it's hole. Okay, but if it hits the water and it comes back up, it it has to go like just it it stops before you go. I want to know how it got the fuck under the toilet seat that I'm sitting on and didn't get on me.

SPEAKER_00

I honestly don't so the toilet seat that I have, right? Okay, it's this thick, right? Yeah. The hole.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

When you lift it up, the rim is only that thick. So this is all exposed. I understand that. There is a gap. Not this gap, not up and down gap. I'm talking about you got the rim of the toilet. Yeah. Then you have the seat, so the rim of the toilet is this this wide. Okay. The toilet seat is this wide.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. That's got nothing to do with what I'm talking about.

SPEAKER_00

This excess here is where the shit might be happening.

SPEAKER_01

And then it like runs.

SPEAKER_00

And if you put I don't know. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Again, it's not doing that and not getting on me. I need to understand how the fuck that happens.

SPEAKER_00

Well, the excess of the toilet seat.

SPEAKER_01

It would be it would it has to be on.

SPEAKER_00

It has to.

SPEAKER_01

I mean, I wouldn't. You have to get shit on you. Do I need to now take full ass mirrors into the toilet and make sure I don't have shit on me? Or just wipe nicely. Again, I wipe my ass, but I don't wipe my legs. There's not an need for it.

SPEAKER_00

Well, this is great.

SPEAKER_01

I just don't know how it happens. I just need to understand the physics of how the shit gets under there.

SPEAKER_00

When we're done, we're gonna go look at mine. And if there's shit on it, I do apologize to you. I highly doubt it's there, but.

SPEAKER_01

I just I don't understand. And it's been really, really That's been way on me.

SPEAKER_00

Wow.

SPEAKER_01

Well, because okay, so we were supposed to record last week and and we didn't. And this was a topic that we were talking about last week. So I've been holding this for a while now. Wait a minute.

SPEAKER_00

What were we talking about?

SPEAKER_01

Huh? What were we talking about that We weren't talking about anything?

SPEAKER_00

Oh.

SPEAKER_01

I was talking to other people.

SPEAKER_00

Well, what was their answers? Or are they dumbfounded as well?

SPEAKER_01

Very dumbfounded.

SPEAKER_00

Okay. I think I might have solved it.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

We will look.

SPEAKER_01

We're gonna see. Okay, so I had to pick up something at Home Depot. So we're gonna check out the toilet seats and I'm gonna show you what I'm talking about because I don't think Jen knows what I'm actually talking about. Okay, so you sit on this piece right here, right? So my question is how does shit get up here? On this spot. Right here. How does shit get here? That doesn't make any sense to me. Can anybody help?

SPEAKER_00

You will not get a picture of my toilet, but I'm just letting you know.

SPEAKER_01

So, yeah, anyway. Very confused. Very confused.

SPEAKER_00

I forgot to turn the volume down on the TV. It's pirates of the fucking Caribbean.

SPEAKER_01

If you hear anything, it's just, you know, pirate sinking ships.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Um I want to talk about hair.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

Whose hair have you found in the most awkward place?

SPEAKER_01

Um, I have no clue. Yeah. How I have long hair that ends up in my laundry or something.

SPEAKER_00

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_01

How?

SPEAKER_00

Is it mine?

SPEAKER_01

I mean it might be.

SPEAKER_00

Is it?

SPEAKER_01

I mean, it could it could still be I mean, it could be it could be so many people. But nobody comes into my house, really.

SPEAKER_00

I mean, I haven't been over there in a while.

SPEAKER_01

No.

SPEAKER_00

Because for instance, you're sitting on my chair. This is my house. Right. I may have sat there, a hair came off, or whatever.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. It could be something like that. I mean, I do ride in other people's cars. Right. You know, it maybe it came from that, or, you know, hug somebody at the gym, something like that. Maybe there's hair. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00

I have two hair questions, so.

SPEAKER_01

But like I found hair in my underwear. And I'm like, uh, what? What? Now, mind you, remember, I had I had my cousin Ashley lived with me for like what five years or so. I still have the same washer and dryer. I mean, I can't say that it was all cleaned, like, you know, like that sanitized or whatever. Potentially isn't still somewhere in that house. You know, I don't know. Um, so I yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Where look so on your body, the weirdest place was it was in your drawers.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, and then I've like felt something and it's been like in my shirt or something like that.

SPEAKER_00

Okay. And I'm like, And you're you still find a couple hairs in the dryer lid. Like every every now and again.

SPEAKER_01

Like, yeah. I'm like, uh, okay. So I don't know where it comes from.

SPEAKER_00

Where is the weirdest place you have found a hair on your body? That's like, that is not supposed to be there.

SPEAKER_01

Like someone else's hair?

SPEAKER_00

No, your own hair growing somewhere. Like, have you noticed like in your ears?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. And it's like super, super blonde or whatever.

SPEAKER_00

So and Or on the outside of your ear look.

SPEAKER_01

Like it'll be yeah, some robe, something.

SPEAKER_00

Is there hair growing on the outside of the earlobe?

SPEAKER_01

And I don't know.

SPEAKER_00

And it's like, it'll get like long.

SPEAKER_01

Most of it is peach fuzz, except those rogue ones that like you know grow massive. Ooh.

SPEAKER_00

Did we find one?

SPEAKER_01

I don't know. Look.

SPEAKER_00

Holy shit. No, it's like this long. I felt it. I can't. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, you got it.

SPEAKER_00

I can't see.

SPEAKER_01

No, I don't think you got it.

SPEAKER_00

We really just did that.

SPEAKER_01

I don't think you got anything. But um, so that one's long.

SPEAKER_00

But it's blonde.

SPEAKER_01

Right. Right. But so, but one time there was one, I felt like it was this long.

SPEAKER_00

I'm like-the one that we found on the one that no, it was your oh.

SPEAKER_01

So sometimes because of my my my beard and like mustache, whatever, it it grew. It was a nose hair, or it was like looking at him and I'm like, I didn't get up close enough.

SPEAKER_00

Something is wrong. And I'm like, either your mustache is growing into your nose, or your nose is growing into your mustache. And it was a it was a long one too, but we like pull that shit out. We've pulled, like, I don't know what I don't know which side it is, but I have one side just right here, that one hair. You just get a rogue hair there, and it'll and I'll forget about it. Right. And then I've got Alyssa who fucking looks at everything, and she goes, oh, and pulls it, and it's like this fucking long. And I'm like, why? Then I got one that grows right here. I just plucked it the other day, and I'm like, nutty all bitches saw this big black hair just hanging right here.

SPEAKER_01

Well, I mean, Carrie has a big old magnifying mirror, and she'll sit there for hours with tweezers and just go to town all over her face and everything. Or she's like, oh wait, I got something.

SPEAKER_00

Like, yeah, she's I am now that person in the car that is like Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_01

That's what she does. Yeah, there's a lot of Welcome to her club.

SPEAKER_00

Uh-huh. Yeah. I got one in my small line that'll come in right here.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I call it my small line, but it's probably a wrinkle. Like right here, you know?

SPEAKER_01

A wrinkle would be there after when you don't smile.

SPEAKER_00

It's there.

SPEAKER_01

So it's yeah, it didn't go away.

SPEAKER_00

It's a small line.

SPEAKER_01

It's an indentation.

SPEAKER_00

I'm gonna indent your face here in a minute. Anyway, there's one that gets caught up in there. And I'm like, okay. I'm over here growing a beard. All the way down to my fucking Adam's apple, I guess. I don't know. Jeez, I mean, this one yesterday, like I was doing car tweezing, you know? So I'm at the light, you know, and I'm like, oh, there's one. You know, I'm like, oh yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

And then I got the camera. She has a work camera, like a camera in her car on the driver to make sure that they're abiding by the laws. Um, I think there's a it's it's front and back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So so you give your your work people a show.

SPEAKER_00

Give a shit. I'm also in traffic, just and I said, What the fuck? I was like, out of here. And I was like, nobody saw this. You, him, Alyssa, my parents, shit. Nobody. It's like this fucking long.

SPEAKER_01

Maybe we were just trying to be polite. I'll tell you, I wasn't trying to be polite, I just didn't see it.

SPEAKER_00

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01

I don't know how, but if it was as big as you claim.

SPEAKER_00

Oh my god. And those ones hurt. Like that's like a thick, coarse one.

SPEAKER_01

They don't hurt. It hurts. Sensitive Sally over here.

SPEAKER_00

Well, I just had to have surgery on my toe.

SPEAKER_01

No, she didn't have to have surgery on anything.

SPEAKER_00

Nope. Just had a pedicure.

SPEAKER_01

She.

SPEAKER_00

Also known as surgery.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. You would have thought she was going into surgery.

SPEAKER_00

There's no relaxation for anybody that goes with that. It wasn't too bad today.

SPEAKER_01

But those ladies that were like hacking up a fucking lung behind us, I was ready to get up there and like.

SPEAKER_00

Do you have the Hontavirus?

SPEAKER_01

Right. Do you need to go to quarantine for 41 days?

SPEAKER_00

Is that what it is?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

41 days?

SPEAKER_01

It's 30 or 40. It's it's way more than 14 days. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Wow. Um, I noticed a lot of the ladies in the nail place were actually wearing K95s. Like the real real deal ones.

SPEAKER_01

Uh yeah.

SPEAKER_00

The one that sits next to my my lady. Um, I mean, she's immune suppressant or depress, whatever. Yes, there you go. Um, so I get why she is. Um for any whatever.

SPEAKER_01

She did too. Yeah. Yeah. But I wonder if she just I don't know.

SPEAKER_00

Well, I think three of them just came back from their countries.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

So, you know, they might be just being precautious, but I mean, hell. They probably see 20 people a day.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Each.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. So it's a lot of people, but yeah, I don't know.

SPEAKER_00

I bet you they don't take people's pennies.

SPEAKER_01

No. I don't do it.

SPEAKER_00

They even their numbers.

SPEAKER_01

Can you even well right? They just keep even numbers.

SPEAKER_00

That's the other thing. Yeah. So, like at the mail place, it's $42 for us to get our pedicure. But it's it doesn't say plus tax or anything.

SPEAKER_01

Do we pay taxes?

SPEAKER_00

No, I don't think so. So why not make the sandwiches six bucks and call it a day? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Well, it's because I don't know.

SPEAKER_00

That's with the tax.

SPEAKER_01

I wonder how the nail salon gets they they maybe they bake their tax in.

SPEAKER_00

Maybe they do. That's what they're doing. Right, that's what they're talking about. But that's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_01

Go to an even amount. Right. Get your after-tax amount to an even amount. That way we don't have any issues. You can even get rid of change altogether.

SPEAKER_00

You could even pull the wool over our eyes and what's 7% of $579. It's I don't know.

SPEAKER_01

I don't do math like that.

SPEAKER_00

Roughly 30-something cents per whatever. Sure. And it would be 610. Okay, so lose the 10 cents. Right. Or you can't bump it to 7, because then you're really robbing us at this point. So it's like you gotta find some sort of like you want happy medium.

SPEAKER_01

But I mean, why can't the world just get rid of change altogether? Everything is just an even dollar amount.

SPEAKER_00

Well, we don't have payphones anymore, so change isn't needed for that.

SPEAKER_01

What do you need what do you need a quarter for?

SPEAKER_00

Aldi.

SPEAKER_01

Well, you can buy an Aldi cart thing that's not a quarter.

SPEAKER_00

Well, that's just the keychain. Okay, well.

SPEAKER_01

And you just pop that pop that bitch right in there.

SPEAKER_00

I like to give it to the homeless person.

SPEAKER_01

I don't give homeless people shit.

SPEAKER_00

I know you don't.

SPEAKER_01

They're not getting a fucking quarter because they're not going to go into Aldi and shop.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Well, I mean you just throw your all give me all your change. I know you probably got change later. I don't have any change. If I go to your house and find change, I'm keeping it.

SPEAKER_01

You keep it if you can find it. I mean, occasionally if I clean out like an old backpack, maybe I might find a couple chain things of change. A couple change. A couple change.

SPEAKER_00

Um is she limping?

SPEAKER_01

No.

SPEAKER_00

Is it the cat?

SPEAKER_01

Yep.

SPEAKER_00

Oh.

SPEAKER_01

Are you getting brave?

SPEAKER_00

For you? Yeah. She's been coming out a lot for She's sneaking. Hi.

SPEAKER_01

Hey cat.

SPEAKER_00

Anyway.

SPEAKER_01

Come in here.

SPEAKER_00

She won't come in here. She's sneaking, is what she's. She's like, you don't see me. I'm invisible.

SPEAKER_01

She's gonna just lay right there.

SPEAKER_00

Okay. So anyway, um Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

So I might have some change in a backpack that I need to clean out or whatever. Um, but that would be it. Yeah. And I don't, yeah, any change that I get, if there's a tip jar, I just leave it in there. I mean, usually it's to a good cause.

SPEAKER_00

It's not do you know how much I I um you know my little change thing that I have in yeah. Uh last time I it was like $143. And I think it, you know, again, I don't use cash like that, but it was a nice chunk of change. Or yeah, it was a nice chunk of change. Um and I took that on the last cruise that we had. So, you know, it was like a little unexpected like little treat. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Hmm.

SPEAKER_01

Um, so yesterday, well, over the last couple of days, you had a work event, but it was at a place that just kind of it's newer to our area. It's called the block.

SPEAKER_00

It's a newer concept to our area, too.

SPEAKER_01

Well, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because it they it there's a few of them elsewhere. But it's basically um, yeah, I think I heard somebody saying that there was one in Atlanta. Um I don't know. They're they're not everywhere, but it's basically an outdoor venue that is built on shipping containers. Even the the ceiling is with shipping containers. Did you notice that? I didn't.

SPEAKER_00

I saw I'm so sorry. I wasn't looking at the fucking roof.

SPEAKER_01

Well, you had an hour and a half apparently to do nothing. So um We were too busy bitching. Well, yeah. So, but yeah, the whole thing is made of shipping containers. Um, all the they had what six restaurants, seven restaurants, something like that.

SPEAKER_02

Two.

SPEAKER_01

One, two, five, six, seven. And then the um ice cream place. So like Where was the ice cream place? By the kid park. Was it was the white, the white um one.

SPEAKER_00

Okay. Was the the dog park bar? Did that have any snacks in it? Or considered a restaurant?

SPEAKER_01

I don't think so. Okay. It was just a bar.

SPEAKER_00

We might have a new guest today. I don't think so.

SPEAKER_01

Um so, but there was different types of food. Um, burgers, tacos, barbecue, hot dogs, um slinging waiters. Um, and they had like salads and pitas, and Mediterranean style. They had an Asian style, they had and then the thing on the end they said it was good, but I don't remember what kind of food it was.

SPEAKER_00

Did they eat from every single restaurant yesterday?

SPEAKER_01

No.

SPEAKER_00

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

They just went to a couple, like two places, I think. Um, but so yeah, there was a bunch um of food, and then they the upstairs is like 21 and up only. So there's a bar up there, no restaurants or anything, but you can get your food and go up. And then they had like a live stage, and they had a they're connected to a dog park. So you can go in there.

SPEAKER_00

There's a kid park, a dog park, and then the rest of the venue, an open venue, which is basically like a turf grass lawn um under a metal roof. I'd say about a hundred seats. Um, probably like those little plastic seats and the little beanbag chairs. Yeah. So there's a hundred of those, and then they had tables, yeah. Um and then the bar up top. So I I don't even think is there even a fire marshal code for that?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Yeah, because there's a fence.

SPEAKER_00

And then they have back patio seating behind the shipping container.

SPEAKER_01

They have a couple little um areas you can rent.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Um, like they call them pit stops or something, um, or at least that one because it was sponsored by a car company. So um, I heard that those are kind of pricey. Um, and I tried to scan the QR code for it, and it just sends a text message and says, Oh, I want information. So it doesn't have their pricing online. Um, but it was kind of cool. You when you get there, you can scan a QR code and you can order any of your food from any of the places, all just from your cell, and then they text you when it's ready.

SPEAKER_00

So it's kind of like I think that's kind of nice. That that's it.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, that was very nice. Um, however, there is a convenience fee. Um, really? Yeah, to use the app. So I noticed that last night. The first signage? It's not, but it's in the app. Yeah. When you check out, it there's a line item.

SPEAKER_00

Interesting.

SPEAKER_01

So for my like eleven dollar nachos, because it was seven dollars and then you had to add for the meat. Um, so it was eleven bucks. There was, I think it I paid either $1.51 or $1.81 service fee plus the tip. I think I still have my well, it texted you, I think. So if you ordered.

SPEAKER_00

I ordered the wiener on the app.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, yeah, because they made us down the burger.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah!

SPEAKER_01

They made us. Yeah. So but I don't know, I don't know who gets that convenience fee. I don't know if it goes to the the restaurant or if it goes to the block because it probably goes it it I I don't know that those are individually, they are individually run places. I get that, but the receipt and everything comes from the block.

SPEAKER_00

It probably goes to the service.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I mean, yeah, I don't know. But they all use the same service.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, but you can also order drinks from the upstairs bar, the 21 and up bar. Could you? That was an option. Okay. It says upstairs bar.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, I didn't see I didn't look through, I just went to what I was doing.

SPEAKER_00

What are you gonna do? Go to the well yourself and pick up your your like you're a waitress? Uh I guess. What you're putting a lid on that? What if Joe Blow comes by and sticks something in my drink?

SPEAKER_01

They probably are, yeah. I mean, I just drink canned stuff. Well, there I'm just anyway. Well, so far.

SPEAKER_00

So But the kid park.

SPEAKER_01

But it was a pretty cool concept. Um and I I heard that they're either in talks or it's something is in works for maybe other locations um in our surrounding areas, so probably not gonna be local in that county, so a different county. Um so like St. John's. I know St.

SPEAKER_00

John's just um I know we're sitting here talking like whatever. Um they're doing another massive indoor-outdoor mini golf, and also like top golf type situation down there. So it's like three different mini golf courses, it's a huge like event space, like how that is. So, and that's gonna be around the World Golf Village. So it's probably gonna be a couple years, but I think the county finally this might go into something like that too. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

So anyway, um, but yeah, cool concept. So if you ever see like, oh, and there was another thing I saw, um I don't know where I was going, probably BJ's or Costco or something, and there was I go there a lot and I don't always buy things. Um I like But yet you're gonna cancel your membership. I like to look. Well, I'm gonna use the membership until it ends.

SPEAKER_00

But if you just like going there.

SPEAKER_01

I went there to get gas.

unknown

Oh.

SPEAKER_00

And then you're like, oh fuck it, let's go inside and see what they have.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Alright, I think Carrie needed um Carrie needed a couple things, and right now I have the membership, she doesn't, so what are you gonna do?

SPEAKER_00

Tell her next year to go buy it at Sam's? She has a Sam's membership.

SPEAKER_01

And we both have a BJ's membership. You don't even go to BJ's, do you? Yeah. I like certain things from the different places. It just depends on what it is.

SPEAKER_00

I don't like leaving my house.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

For shopping.

SPEAKER_01

That's why I just got I just got a Walmart Plus subscription. Um that way I can just order.

SPEAKER_00

I've become an old lady. I now I'm now doing birding. Uh I feed birds, I watch birds.

SPEAKER_02

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_00

I have a bird bath with a fountain because they need to take a bath too. Um I cuss at the squirrels that are eating my birdseed. And um I have a hummingbird feeder that now I need to go get a new one to get an ant moat because it's hanging in a tree, and now the ants are in it. So Oh. Yeah. And because the hummingbirds, their little mouths are so small.

SPEAKER_01

Will an ant clog it up?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

They don't open their mouths?

SPEAKER_00

It's very small, but their tongues are really long and they'll pull pull it back.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, is that what it is, how it is? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And next thing I'm gonna have dead hummingbirds and probably give you.

SPEAKER_01

You can stuff one if you find it on the ground.

SPEAKER_00

Why would you do that? If it I mean, if it you want me to do a little taxidermy. No. You need to take it to a tax. Hi. Can you can you stuff this? Can you do this guy?

SPEAKER_01

Can you make it a stuffed animal for me? It's gonna hang it on my wall.

SPEAKER_00

I'm fucking done with you today. See y'all next week.

SPEAKER_01

Later.

SPEAKER_00

Stuff a fucking hummingbird. I mean, why not? I mean, why don't you just say stuff the hummingbird and use it as a fucking Christmas ornament? Like how they do in the fucking car.

SPEAKER_01

That would be a good idea.